The Bungee Jump That Taught Me Why “Fake It Till You Make It” Doesn’t Work

I used to believe in “fake it till you make it.”

Push through. Act confident. Force yourself to do the thing you’re afraid of.

One experience changed my mind completely.

The jump I didn’t want to make

Years ago, while on the holiday of a lifetime, I found myself at a bungee jump site.

Everyone around me was buzzing with excitement. I wasn’t.

I hadn’t planned to do a bungee jump. I wasn’t curious. I wasn’t excited.

But I told myself I should.

“This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.” “I’ll regret it if I don’t.”

So I paid. I queued. I was at the jumping platform for over an hour and, during that time, shuffled to the edge for three attempts, repeating the same mantra:

“I’ll jump and I’ll love it. I’ll jump and I’ll love it.”

Eventually, I didn’t jump so much as fall off the edge.

While others screamed with adrenaline-fuelled joy, I fell in complete silence. I heard myself falling as the wind rushed past my ears. The rebounding was an added shock I hadn’t expected. I didn’t just fall once, but on a loop.

When they pulled me back up to the bridge, I went into shock and cried uncontrollably.

I jumped. I DID NOT LOVE IT!

What I actually learned

I proved I could force my body to do something it absolutely didn’t want to do.

I could will myself through sheer determination.

But I didn’t learn any new skills. I didn’t build confidence.

What I built was avoidance.

From that day on, I avoided roller coasters. I developed a genuine fear of heights and falling that I’d never had before.

The experience didn’t make me braver. It compounded my fear.

This is exactly what happens with public speaking

So many of my clients come to me with this exact story. Not of jumping, but of a presentation or interview they forced themselves through and have been avoiding ever since.

They forced themselves to present because they thought they should. They weren’t properly prepared. They didn’t really understand why they were doing it or what they wanted from it.

Their voice shook. They blanked. They felt exposed.

They got through it. But afterwards, the memory replayed. Again and again.

And from that point forward?

They dreaded it. Or avoided it entirely.

Not because they lack ability or ambition. But because their body remembered:

That wasn’t safe. Don’t do that again.

One bad, high-pressure experience is often enough to shut someone down for years.

Why “fake it till you make it” backfires

“Fake it till you make it” assumes that forcing yourself through fear will somehow build confidence.

But when you’re fighting against your own belief that you can’t do something, when you’re at war with yourself, you’re not building anything useful.

You’re just proving you can survive something unpleasant.

And your nervous system learns exactly one thing:

Avoid this next time.

That’s not confidence. That’s trauma in a business suit.

Real confidence doesn’t come from faking it or forcing through.

It comes from building competence in small, manageable steps where you feel resourced enough to learn.

Where you understand why you’re doing it. Where you have preparation and support. Where your body gets to experience:

I did that. It wasn’t perfect. And I was okay. I can do it again.

That’s the muscle that needs building.

Not the ability to override fear, but the capacity to show up prepared, purposeful, and present.

Because capable, articulate professionals don’t need to fake anything.

They just need to stop forcing themselves through experiences their body interprets as a threat, and start building competence in a way that actually sticks.

Ready to build speaking confidence the right way?  Book a free call here and let’s create a plan that works with your nervous system, not against it.